i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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