so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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