I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
