i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
