those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
