just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
