so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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