Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
