dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
