OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
