all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
