When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
