Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
