They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
