im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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