I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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