The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
