you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am available for nakedness
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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