Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She's the barista slut.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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