True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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