If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
