it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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