My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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