I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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