How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
