they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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