she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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