My friends, they love my intelligence
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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