i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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