May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize