you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
