Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
