I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
