What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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