Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do vagina's smell?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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