Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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