you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
