C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
