I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
organizing the empties. That sober.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
