Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
