So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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