The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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