I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize