This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
