Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
