Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
this hospital has no fireball
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
