"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
where am i from again
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
