I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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