4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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