Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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