Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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