Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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