Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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