it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
