oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
