you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
