I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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