People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
