My cat gives me a boner
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
