I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
is it fun? or sober?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
