Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
