3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
