I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
