Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
