My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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