I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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