she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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