did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
