Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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