This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
