Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
