The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
