Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
