Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
