i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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