So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
