My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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