She said her name was "party"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
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Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.